This week has been a very busy one between work, chemotherapy classes, and helping family and friends. I find myself rushing from one place to another with very little time to spare. Yesterday I spent three hours out at a previous employers house helping the couple troubleshoot some catheter issues. As the trouble shooting took about 30 minutes, I realized they really just needed a friend in the healthcare field to listen to their struggles.
This couple has been married for 48 years and I find them very interesting. They have very opposite approaches to life, as she is very go go go, type A personality, and he is a very laid back, take your time sort of guy. But somehow that seems to work for them. They are both very intelligent and have been active in many interesting capacities over their lifetime. This past summer, the husband had a hemmorragic stroke and it has been life changing for the both of them. He was hospitalized for 84 days and is now in a wheelchair, as the left side of his body is paralyzed. He is finally home but needs help with everything he does. As I spent the afternoon with this couple, I observed true love and devotion between them. I found myself wondering how the wife stays so strong in this situation. The couple used to have somewhat opposite schedules that worked for them. She was an early bird who went to the gym and then to work, while he was a night owl, staying up late and sleeping in. This schedule gave them time apart and time together, which seemed to balance their marriage. After the stroke, the wife spent all of her time at the hospital advocating for her husband's care. After 84 days of chaos, they finally were able to return home together but with major changes in their routines. They have brought in lots of help and adaptive equiptment and have adjusted the first floor of the home to meet their needs. She provides total care for him and is the constant in his life of continuous changes. As we talked, I couldn't help but wonder how they are adjusting so well. They have had such a different routine for so long and now they spend all their time together, doing their best to fumble through it with love. It was truly an eye opening visit, as I myself have been struggling to find balance as a newlywed with a new career. This week, I felt so frustrated that I had no time for myself. No time to do the few things that help keep me grounded and balanced. Yet my frustrations are nothing compared to what this couple is going through! I tried to imagine the difference between spending all your time caring for strangers, versus spending all of your time and energy caring for your spouse of 48 years. I'm emotionally drained after work and my clients are strangers...I can't imagine the emotional repercussions of all of this for the wife.
The encounter has put much of my current struggles in perspective, as I realize they are nothing compared to others struggles. I still have the ability to make changes in my schedule and to find time for myself if I try hard enough. My husband and I still have our health and our independence. As a new week approaches, I resign to take a step back when I'm feeling frustrated or overwhelmed my life and just take note of all that I have. And be thankful.
This couple has been married for 48 years and I find them very interesting. They have very opposite approaches to life, as she is very go go go, type A personality, and he is a very laid back, take your time sort of guy. But somehow that seems to work for them. They are both very intelligent and have been active in many interesting capacities over their lifetime. This past summer, the husband had a hemmorragic stroke and it has been life changing for the both of them. He was hospitalized for 84 days and is now in a wheelchair, as the left side of his body is paralyzed. He is finally home but needs help with everything he does. As I spent the afternoon with this couple, I observed true love and devotion between them. I found myself wondering how the wife stays so strong in this situation. The couple used to have somewhat opposite schedules that worked for them. She was an early bird who went to the gym and then to work, while he was a night owl, staying up late and sleeping in. This schedule gave them time apart and time together, which seemed to balance their marriage. After the stroke, the wife spent all of her time at the hospital advocating for her husband's care. After 84 days of chaos, they finally were able to return home together but with major changes in their routines. They have brought in lots of help and adaptive equiptment and have adjusted the first floor of the home to meet their needs. She provides total care for him and is the constant in his life of continuous changes. As we talked, I couldn't help but wonder how they are adjusting so well. They have had such a different routine for so long and now they spend all their time together, doing their best to fumble through it with love. It was truly an eye opening visit, as I myself have been struggling to find balance as a newlywed with a new career. This week, I felt so frustrated that I had no time for myself. No time to do the few things that help keep me grounded and balanced. Yet my frustrations are nothing compared to what this couple is going through! I tried to imagine the difference between spending all your time caring for strangers, versus spending all of your time and energy caring for your spouse of 48 years. I'm emotionally drained after work and my clients are strangers...I can't imagine the emotional repercussions of all of this for the wife.
The encounter has put much of my current struggles in perspective, as I realize they are nothing compared to others struggles. I still have the ability to make changes in my schedule and to find time for myself if I try hard enough. My husband and I still have our health and our independence. As a new week approaches, I resign to take a step back when I'm feeling frustrated or overwhelmed my life and just take note of all that I have. And be thankful.
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