The blurry truth

This week has been especially challenging, thus my vivid dreams continue.  Last night I woke up to use the bathroom and thought to myself, "I need to empty my Foley bag"!  It's a blurry line between reality and dreams these nights! So as you might imagine, I've been emptying a lot of Foley bags, ostomy bags and rectal tube drains this week.  It seems like our unit goes through waves of certain cancer types or complications.  Last week, we had many gyn/onc (gynecology cancers) patients, which included ovarian and endometrial cancer. This week is rectal and prostate cancers.  The past two weeks have been interesting because I have seen several fistulas.  I hadn't seen a fistula in my first 5 months of nursing (as well as my 2 yrs of nursing school), but over the past two weeks I've seen four.  What's a fistula you ask?  A fistula is an abnormal connection between two parts of the body, such as the colon and the skin, or the colon and the bladder (both of which I saw last week).  They are pretty bizarre! Sometimes the fistula is on the inside of the body and we only see the result by abnormal outcomes.  Sometimes the fistula is a visible hole on the skin where it shouldn't be.  Thus the vivid dreams and blurry truth.

I continue to find ways to process my emotions and frustrations from work.  This week started out pretty rocky with a frustrating shift on Monday that ended at 12:45 am after no break! By Wed, things on the unit had calmed down and my coworkers decided we should get a drink after work to decompress.  I was so glad I went because I haven't slept so well in weeks! We talked about work, our frustrations and emotions, the changes that are happening in the hospital, etc etc etc.  There's something about getting together with others who share your frustrations and validate your concerns and emotions. It was a wonderful 2 hrs of support and I have a feeling that we'll do it again soon.

For now I'll leave you with a tip of the day from the book "Your 1st Year as a Nurse" by Donna Wilk Cardillo.  In order to effectively deal with adversity, a new nurse must focus on the positive.  Tip of the day: Think of one positive thing you accomplished today and write it down on paper.  Look at it, think about it, and fall asleep on that thought. 

Here's to sweet dreams and clarity.