Last night I worked an extra 4 hours to get in a little overtime and help out the unit. I walked into a bit of a mess. I had 4 patients: two admissions (one scheduled chemotherapy, which requires some time to ensure the dotting of i's and crossing of t's), one comfort cares (actively dying patient) and one patient with fevers and tachycardia. Of course, within the first 30 minutes of the shift, the comfort cares patient died, the patient with fevers and tachycardia worsened, and my two admissions needed attention. Talk about overwhelming. But the really cool part is that I did it. I assessed my resources and asked for help, delegating tasks to ensure that things got done in a timely manner and everyone received attention. It wasn't smooth or unchaotic, but for the most part, everything got done and within the blink of an eye those 4 hours were over! Time to start my evening shift.
As my shift wrapped up, the night crew arrived ready for their shift. Three of the 4 nurses were new grad nurses. Talking with them took me back to my first days, weeks and months as a new nurse and how difficult they were. I realized that I've been a nurse for almost 1 year now (just two weeks away). It's exciting to think about how far I've come in just one year. Even just reading through my previous blogs, I see growth and change! My assessment skills have greatly improved (but still have a long way to go), I have a better understanding of cancer disease processes and treatments, and feel more confident in my education skills. It's amazing how much I didn't understand (especially about cancer) when I first started as a new nurse. Now I feel more confidence and enjoyment in my job on a daily basis, which is important to long term happiness in a career. Balance in the rest of my life is also getting easier, as my dreams about work have lessened and processing my shifts takes less time and energy. Thus I think about work less while I'm at home and focus on enjoying my time off.
I've realized that while my job is still difficult emotionally, it's much easier to handle now that I have a better understanding of the factors that affect a patient's prognosis. I can better anticipate patient outcomes and am not caught off guard when their condition declines. I can also provide helpful feedback to families and patients about their condition and their options. I find myself engaging in heavy conversations about what's important to a patient and/or their family and trying to provide them the tools and resources to make difficult decisions. Our unit uses primary nursing model, and as my skill and confidence levels have increased over the past year, I have continued to "sign up" for patients as part of their primary nursing team. This option provides me to opportunity to get to know patients and their families, while also providing more individualized and consistent care. I absolutely love it.
So as I look back one year later, I'm very pleased with my journey and growth thus far. The choice to pursue nursing is one of the best choices I've made and I couldn't be more thankful.
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